neometalfaggot:

when ur mum looks through ur stuff without permission

image

208,445 notes

heart:

there are people that use their phone in the bathroom and there are people that lie

77,400 notes

bunsen:

i don’t think there’s anything worse than not being able to finish your lap in mario kart because ur in last place what kind of discrimination is that 

7,455 notes

enattendantlesoleil:

me during classes

  • "that’s racist"
  • "that’s sexist"
  • "there are more than two genders"
  • "ok but could we maybe not use that word"
  • "that’s ableist"
  • "there aren’t enough girls in here"

46,989 notes

I’d much rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.
Carrie Bradshaw (via soulsscrawl)

(Source: gluh-birne)

148,569 notes

okaywork:

when someone’s on your nerves but they sensitive af so you cant go off

image

24,578 notes

sexcit1ng:

my laptop is hotter than my sex life

(Source: novator)

71,527 notes

nonbinaryeldritchhorror:

ok no but imagine gay cowboys that aren’t “sad about bein gay” cowboys blushing w/ boots going ”i want u to be my partner, partner” “but i AM your partner, partner” “no but like i want you t be my partner partner, partner” “*low whistle* *tips brim of hat to cover blush* well howdy doody” “is that a yeS??? ??” 

IT WOULD BE CUTE OK…. 

132,673 notes